It has taken quite some time for me to realize that following the spiritual path is not the end of the world as I know it. For a time I was confused, thinking I had to be a certain way, change who I was, reconstruct what goals I wanted to achieve, etc. Of course, this is all pressure I placed on myself, when suddenly it hit me, ‘you can be you while becoming a better you’.
Feeding the spirit is a very helpful way to fulfill dreams. I unearthed a new remarkable way to nourish my creative spirit, a path of strength along the artistic journey filled with amazing moments of peace and self-love. In those wonderful moments of silence I started to glimpse the storehouse of everything I needed to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.
When one decides to walk a spiritual path it does not mean that one has to loose oneself to that particular path. As a matter of fact I feel there is a certain responsibility we should try and maintain and that is to find “What is my own truth?”
I feel blessed to have been given tools and a practice which I try to follow very regularly; the aim is spiritual evolution. During my practice I have learned to gage what feels right in my body and what does not feel right. It meant that I was starting to think with my heart and not with my mind. Another way of looking at it is, learning to trust my own intuition.
I was becoming drained, unmotivated, and at times very depressed. I thought, how is this possible if I am using all the tools and practice of my discipline, to the fullest. What happens when you get to the point where there’s just no energy left inside to give? When the well really feels as if it has run dry?
The answer: I cannot expend the quantity of creative energy that I lack. In life, it’s my creative energies that produce the sense of joy and satisfaction that makes life worth living. Of course, I also need to have purpose and direction; but purpose and direction and all the most exceptional plans in the world won’t do a bit of good without the creative energy I need to bring them to fulfillment.
Even the best plans sometimes go amuck, but the difference between having stuff happen that gets in the way and running out of creative ‘juice’, is that the latter is almost entirely under my control. On that note I realized the one missing link, I was not paying attention to what was my truth. As the meditations, intuitive moments, and clarity from my inner-self grew stronger, I could no longer deny my verity.
It took several months of processing and several personal battles to awaken to my authentic self. Now I have the tools, a proper discipline, and a renewed creative impulse to transpire my dreams into actuality. I have a carefree liveliness with which I rejoice in the fact that each moment is my own creation and I treasure the whole lot of them. I imagine my life and everyone within each experience to be surrounded by a bright ever-expanding globe of light feeling free and unhindered.
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